Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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