yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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