at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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