It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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