About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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