trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize