i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
