gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
