Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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