i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
