at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
