Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
