Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
bring money and cleavage
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
