OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
ok first of all what the fuck
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