it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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