So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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