You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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