Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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