the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize