You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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