I love black thongs
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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