omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
