i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
