Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
