people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
