So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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