Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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