PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
