They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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