i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
