He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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