i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize