Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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