Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
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the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
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If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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