My room smells like vodka and shame
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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