By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
