That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
