Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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