I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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