He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
