the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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