Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
