That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
