I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
