Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
