If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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