Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
