no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
