I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
