Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
