It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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