I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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