Moan for me like Helen Keller
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
