4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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