apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
