They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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