you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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