John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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