Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
