Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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