I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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