Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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