Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize