i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
