FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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